2014 HSV GTS Maloo review: Is the world's fastest ute also one of the most productive cars?
The only thing more stunning than fitting a race-ready supercharged V8 into a humble workhorse is the effect that extremely brutal acceleration has on your skull.
The HSV GTS Maloo is the fastest Uute in the world, but even if you know what to expect, nothing will prepare you for full power.
It's so fast that my brain barely has time to comprehend what's going on. It's fast forward in real life with the soundtrack of a V8 supercar.
Each gear change causes another push to the rear, and then the fast acceleration just doesn't stop until you depress the clutch to shift into another gear. And then everything repeats again.
Meet the Ferrari supercar created by Holden Special Vehicles, a division dedicated to the production of high-performance vehicles. The same outfit that takes care of Holden's flagship V8 Supercar team.
HSV used the supercharged V8 engine that was installed in the GTS sedan a year ago and installed it in a limited number of trucks. Because it's possible, and because they wanted to leave a lasting impression when the Australian automotive industry closes its doors in 2017.
After all, what could be more Australian than the ute (which, by the way, we invented in 1933 when Ford's engineer's wife wanted a car that could be used on the farm and then driven to church) with a damn big V8?
HSV GTS Maloo - a monument to Australia
Detractors may ask why the world needs such a machine. But there are plenty of other cars in that performance league. HSV has equipped the GTS Maloo with all the safety technology available for Australian-made vehicles.
Also, there are no limits on how fast you can reach the speed limit.
In this case, the HSV GTS Maloo can accelerate to 0 km/h in a comfortable 100 seconds. Fast like a Porsche 4.5.
To help balance the books, HSV also added the largest brakes ever fitted to a motorcycle anywhere in the world. Indeed, the bright yellow calipers and shiny pizza-tray-sized rims are larger than those found on a V8 supercar.
The HSV GTS also has three levels of stability control to help prevent skidding, has wider rear tires than the front for improved rear traction, and a forward collision warning system if you're too close to the road. car ahead.
It also has a "torque vectoring" system similar to the one Porsche uses to control the car's rear-end clutch in tight corners.
Anyone worried about the ability of the ute chassis to handle that much power need not fear. The Toyota HiLux is more slippery in the wet than the world's fastest pickup truck. Trust me, thanks to overlapping car bookings and torrential weather, we rode both bikes in a row in the worst conditions Mother Nature could muster this week.
Lest there be excuses for doing the wrong thing, the GTS Maloo also features a digital speed display that is displayed on the windshield within the driver's line of sight. Just like a BMW.
If the worst happens, six airbags and a five-star safety rating will protect you. Just like Volvo.
But all I can think about right now is the sound. I traveled to Bathurst and back to the Great Race the long way, over bumpy pothole roads meant for workhorses, not show ponies.
And despite riding on massive 20-inch wheels (also the largest ever fitted to an Australian-made car) and low-profile European tires designed for the German Autobahn (these Continental tires were originally made for Mercedes-Benz), it rides like magic. carpet.
Whatever your impressions of brutal holdens, it's the other way around. It's far more civilized than any Cashed Up Bogan (that's a marketing term, and as the owner of five V8s in 10 years, I count myself among them - except for the "Cashed Up" part) I could imagine.
The faux suede trim on the dash, the shiny trim around the air vents, the piano black paint next to the instruments all combine to justify the $90,000 price tag. Well, that's plus a massive engine, a heavy-duty gearbox and a race car-style differential with special cooling veins.
Without a doubt, the GTS Maloo is another exclamation point for the Australian automotive industry. Those who expect Armageddon on the roads have nothing to worry about.
Most of these cars will never handle the way their creator intended. A total of 250 pieces will be produced (240 for Australia and 10 for New Zealand) and most of them will end up in collector's items.
And this is a tragedy, akin to keeping Black Caviar as a pony for children.
