Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha
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Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

wrote: Matevj Hribar

a photo: Sasha Kapetanovich

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Motorists may be offended, but I cannot avoid this comparison, which crossed my mind several times during the benchmark test: Consider putting the cars in a row; let's say we go to extremes, six golf class cars. Yes, of course, VW is different from Peugeot, but I dare say that this time not as much as other test engines. She's partly to blame for this variety or class widthwhich we called "retro" because, to be precise, the test machines do not belong to the same class (for example, among Triumps, Bonneville will judge more than Thruxton, but we could not get it in that term). But it is not only the diversity that is to blame for this, but above all the fact that the world of motorcycles is not yet "broken". Not yet) common platforms and transmissions, there is still a lack of over-standardization and what else helps to reduce costs and increase productivity, so motorcycle manufacturers can stay more true to a certain direction, indicated in the brand's DNA. Look, well, Guzzi or Triumph - what serious originals they are! Even the most famous car reincarnations, the Mini and the Beetle, should bear no resemblance to their ancestors. And that's what motorcyclists can only expect. As long as it lasts. Once the Aprilia Shiver engine is connected to the Moto Guzzi, this joy will end...

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

So the test engines, as we found out every time we exchanged keys, are different from the sperm of the egg. So don't be surprised if the ratings of individual evaluators also differ from each other, and what may seem even more unusual to the uninitiated is that a personal favorite will not be the same as the same rider's scorer. But motorcyclists. Yes, the four boys with years of motorcycle riding experience were joined by Urosh, who had an exam in his pocket for four years now, and Tin (c), who only realized his dream of self-transporting on a motorcycle at the end of last year. year. In short, the troupe was written as six machines; four from Europe and two from Japan.

Yeah, let's disconnect!

It all started with an email: are you in favor of running a test test in two days? Understand, this is quite a difficult project in Slovenia to assemble six of these engines, not to mention finding six proven drivers who can combine their feelings on the keyboard. The answer was amazing: everyone was in favor, and even more shocking was Matyazh's idea: what if we disconnect from our mobile phones for these two days? At a time when it is already difficult to survive without a telephone, when the emperor is on foot, the idea was very bold and commendable.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Testing scheme

Where? From Ljubljana, we drove into it along the highway to Logatec, took the first photo there, continued moving towards Primorski, stuffed our stomachs in the cold embrace of the karst basement (Sasha is a witness that we did not help with a finger in Teran!), Then we went down along almost empty roads to the Vipava valley, and while Peter was changing a punctured pipe in Guchia, we refreshed ourselves in Soča, and our final destination was Goriška brda. And not one of the five hotels, but one such authentic estate, where we ate homemade delicacies under the vine and roasted with a big drop, only the author could not give us some big name and a complex story, but when he was asked what we were drinking, he answered : "Homemade mixed". That's it, we don't need anything else. We were returning to Ljubljana along the road that the editorial office had just proclaimed “the best in Slovenia,” but in the meantime we were constantly exchanging motorcycles and opinions; Write down the impressions in paper notebooks and at the end each will fill out a scorecard for themselves. Let's see what we found. Nice alphabetically so that there are no misunderstandings.

Video - how all six engines roar:

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

According to sales statistics and driving experience, BMW found that while retaining the classic air / oil-cooled boxer engine, they were stumped. Once a new liquid-cooled engine arrives in the (nineties), it will surely lose what makes it as unique and beautiful as we know it today, as well as the best performance. The engine just performed well; responsive, with the right amount of vibration, elastic, flexible. Since the unit already offers a full supply of torque at lower rpm, it happened several times that I wanted to shift into seventh gear at a speed of about 90 km / h. It is very pleasant to add and remove throttle accompanied by a symphony of drum rolls, perhaps already too loud. to comply with today's legal restrictions. Perhaps it was also due to the fact that the driver's car makes a more lively movement of the right wrist, consumption is highest, which we are not used to with engines of this brand. Yes, the boxer engine shakes left and right when refueling (as in the older generation GS), which for the owner is more a reason for pride than for embarrassment. It feels like the engine is alive.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

The rest of the components, besides the device, are also very advanced; from brakes to transmission, seat, steering wheel and everything else, these are the elements that are in constant contact with the driver. When I was looking for the dark side, I couldn't find another one from less transparent mirrors (especially if you ride with more open elbows) and perhaps already too small a caliber that is so simple that it will only be "cleaner" if you remove it. But this is the essence of the “Pure” version, which means “pure” in English. With a wide handlebar in hand, the driver is left with only the road in his field of vision, and the pure pleasure of riding a motorcycle in his mind. And lest my praise sound too patronizing of the German manufacturer, let me back up the record with the fact that we all gave BMW the most points on the table. Although, as you can see, he personally was not everyone's favorite! So, the answer to the question "BMW or not BMW" is this: if you like it the way it is, then ... Yes, BMW is a good choice.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

We praise: engine, appearance, comfort, character, brakes, sound.

We scold: price with accessories, very basic equipment, highest consumption.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

In the introduction, I mentioned that the motorcycle industry hasn't broken down with platform sharing yet. This is only partly true, since this is exactly what happens in individual factories. Not only on BMW, which has released five motorcycles of approximately the same design (in addition to the regular model and the Pure model, as well as Racer, Scrambler, Urban G / S), but also on Ducati, or rather in a separate section. encoderwhere all designers are said to wear beards and that bosses give them a little more creative freedom as well. From the very beginning of the revival of the Scrambler name, Italians have emphasized that it is not just a model, but also its own brand, its own “brand”. Thus, the scramblers are available in seven versions, even as a caffeine racer. An ignorant viewer can easily be deceived into thinking that this is a product of a motorcycle factory or even a home garage, but not by accident, because the "processing" will be superficial, but because it is very comprehensive and bold... And leaving aside the phrase “commercializing individuality,” we look at the Café Racer as an extremely unique piece of production motorcycle. It has a dark brown leather quilted seat, a Termignoni exhaust system, a beautiful combination of black and gold ...

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

But due to all these individual components, this Ducati is quite far from what the general public likes, and, besides, its circle of potential customers is also determined by its external dimensions: from BMW it has 57 mm shorter wheelbase and a low handlebar attached to the upper cross, which made Tina look like a fashion model on it, and Matyazh looked like he confiscated a bike from a toddler in front of a multi-storey building. We also criticized the seat which forces you to press your limb into the fuel tank, the less transparent digital indicator (especially the RPM display), and the heat that glows in the lower limbs at low speeds.

Engine, transmission, brakes and geometry are the recipe for barbaric playfulness and driving pleasure in this Ducati.

Ducati? If you like this style of engine, and if your size does not exceed 177 inches, then yes. Otherwise, in the cabin, you can ride one of the brothers from the Scrambler family, which, in terms of external dimensions, is also more suitable for taller people.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

We praise: the engine and transmission look like real cafe racers.

We scold: seat, not for big drivers, heat comes from engine.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

The Hondica (downsizing in this group) differed from the six in several ways: for the first time, it is the only engine that flirts with the chopper style in terms of seat, pedal and steering position. Secondly: it has the smallest engine displacement and therefore the least power. And third: it costs about half the price, as a section of the remaining five and as much as ten thousand less than the most expensive - Triumph! Keep this in mind as you read the following lines. But still: is it enough to rip off your jeans, put on bullies and put on a black T-shirt with a big A in a circle to show rebellion? If a greedy soul hides under cover, collecting points at the box office and watching the Mountain Doctor with his mother in the evening, then the answer (is it?) is obvious. So I kind of imagine the soul of this Honda: she wants to be black and rebellious, but in fact she is obedient, well-controlled, frugal and calm. Which, on the other hand, is not bad at all - look: before Karst, Tina did not want to let her go at all, because she felt on him Safe... Honda, with its laid back temper and leather side bags, turned out to be a friendly school Haflinger who drank the least unleaded and also loaded us with freshly picked apricots. In the bags of "Triumph", if I had them, I probably would have dipped my fingers into the jam at the finish line ...

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

I once got used to the fact that the anemic parallel twin-cylinder motors are not driven and that they are also suitable for this. suspension and brakesWhat bothered me the most was that the motor shroud stung my right leg. Other than that, it rides incredibly reliably: once you give the bike direction around a corner, it will hold it like a train (ec), which less experienced (or just less demanding) riders will undoubtedly appreciate.

So we can nod that the Rebel does a pretty decent job of hauling so-and-so on the road, but the company of iconic and cool retro bikes has unfortunately found itself a little forced, and so, no offense, we don't let's take it on. Hands. And since the Guzzi isn't a tech gem, it at least follows some notion of a romantic classic engine. Rebel, thanks for the company, see you next time.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

We praise: unpretentiousness, fuel consumption, price.

We scold: lack of character, annoying protruding motor housing on the right, brakes are only average.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

When you return with him early in the morning, while the others are just waking up, you return from Solkan to Brda, and nature is fresh after the evening storm, and the morning northerner and your rubber-legged legs dangle in a completely different way than you were taught in the course of safe driving. you choose to rotate the motor with some two, three thousand revolutions and when you feel the coldness on your bare neck and the warmth of six fresh chocolate croissants on your chest ... Then Moto Guzzi is the winner. And may the Germans still turn components into 7D computer programs, and may the British put together a bunch of the best components in this world ... No, nothing can conjure up such romantic (sorry, this adjective suits him very well) feelings like this VXNUMX Special ...

Gentlemen sipping cappuccino on the shores of Lake Como, we have to give credit to the fact that in 2017 Guzzi managed to keep him the way we were honored to drive him. But, dear romantics, know that this distinctive antiquity has its own weak sides: For the suspension, for example, the engineers probably used ballpoint pen springs (of course, I'm exaggerating, but when driving on speed bumps it feels like that), and the rest of the components are not designed for dynamic driving. Guzzi just won't let you drive fast. For example, if you want to quickly change gears after a race, the engine will stutter and squeak momentarily before continuing to accelerate. But forgive him!

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

What worried me the most about Guzzi was too sensitive rear wheel traction controlwhich calms horses far more than seems necessary. In the worst case, if you are going to drive uphill on rubble, the engine will even stall. Hmm, such a car should also be able to drive into a pine forest ...

Guzzi? If you enjoy driving slowly, you will most likely be very happy in the long single seat. Because you (no longer rush) through life and go because you want, and not because you have to. However, it is true that you have to be a big fan to deduct more money for a puzzle with a long-established technique than for a Dacia Sandero. And despite the fact that he was very nice to all of us, basically we put him in fifth (four) or sixth place (two), only Matyazh fell in love with him to such an extent that I dare to predict that in the future here such a light will shine in your garage.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

We praise: original, timeless style, combination of engine and transmission (taking into account the purpose), sound.

We scold: suspension, rough traction control, some simple details.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

This, ladies and gentlemen, is living proof that rough technique can have a profound effect on mood (motorcyclist). Every time you ride this beautiful red-haired British woman, you have the urge to blow off the license plate, hit Trubar right away, order a beer while rolling a cigarette, and dream of a confident cat that will sit down to match you. When we evaluated the "cool" factor, the winner was clear. Red, with polished and brushed metal upholstery, with a gold suspension (rear shock absorber at the back!) From a reputable Swedish manufacturer and with a passenger seat cover. “If you want me to walk you to the apartment, you are already squeezing through. Here is my helmet, I have goggles.”

Do you know what's the best thing about the new Thruxton from last year? It's not only devilishly good to see, but also to drive. The previous Thruxton lagged far behind in this area. However, believe it or not, this is finger licking. Yes, Öhlins pendant it's really a little more difficult, and if it bothers you a lot on a bad road (Kranj-Medvode), stretch your legs slightly and ease some of the vibrations with your thigh muscles. I don’t know where I read before that exercises on the quadriceps and hamstrings increase testosterone release ...

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

However, in addition to driving from the driver requires a little more knowledgeThe Thruxton is also modern in terms of equipment: the status of the switchable anti-skid system, the selected engine program and the information of the on-board computer are displayed on a small digital screen (the classic look will be great).

In fact, Triumph lost the most points because it's sinfully expensive, but if you take the time to go into all the details, it's clear that details like the hidden electronic injection of "classic carburetors" and the classic fuel tank cap and the hidden lock is just worth the money. If that changes the calculation, let's assume that the regular version without the R in the name costs more than a thousand less. And if low (but not too big) rudder bothers you, consider Bonneville. Or accelerate to a speed of 100 km / h, when the force of the wind will keep the body upright. It is at these speeds, between 80 and 120, preferably on a winding road, that the Thruxton feels at home. So: Triumph? If he lists the family budget ... Oh yes!

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

We praise: beautiful details, engine power and torque, transmission, sound, suspension, brakes, appearance, character.

We scold: low mirrors, less comfort due to low steering wheel and stiffer suspension, price.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Like the Honda Rebel, the Yamaha spokesperson (isn't it interesting that they are both Japanese?) Stands out from the mid-size style of the six. Although the XSR is dominated by (classic) rounds, it is a modern motorcycle of modern design and as such, its Street Triple, for example, will be bigger than its competitor than the Thruxton. But parked among other motorcycles, he gave the impression that he wanted to play the same strings as the others; that it suits those who adhere to the classical style, but do not want technology after the Second World War. If you look at it for a moment: as written a little earlier, this Yamaha everything revolves around rounds: round front and rear lights, headlight holder, sensors, holes in the light side elements under the seat (which, as we found out, is only for appearance, but also impractical - you can’t stick a hook for an elastic luggage net into the holes) and something more to be found. Close to bicycles. The rather harmonious appearance (did you notice that the seat and fuel tank are two different shades?) is broken only by the protruding license plate holder. See how boldly they tackled this legal issue at Ducati.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Although in Yamaha sits most upright of all enginesIt's like sitting in a mix between a stripped-down engine and an enduro (or supermoto) engine. And that's exactly what the XSR is: a kind of crossover that works best when riding - first the seat position and geometry are to blame, and then the burst three-cylinder engine, which, when the traction control system is turned off, brings the bike to the rear wheel (almost) with such explosive power, which could drive a brutal single-cylinder engine. Yes, the XSR is light-year lighter than the Guzzi and Honda, even more so than the sporty Triumph, which has longer curves than serpentines. However, it is important to note that driving the XSR in this way requires an experienced and dedicated driver. Not only because of the sparkling engine, but also because of the extraordinarily light feel on the front wheel, which I already know from the MT-09 (Tracer) series. It takes some getting used to, or perhaps investing in additional suspension adjustments or modifications to better balance the two-wheeler. While you can read between the lines, let me stress: the XSR has much better suspension than either the Guzzi or the Honda, but at the pace these two bikes push you to, those issues don't come to the fore.

Yamaha - for whom? If you want a modern and agile machine with a good dose of classic styling, and you swear by the reliability of the Japanese more than the European pedigrees (apart from the darkness that accompanies the sale of the latest Yamahas), the XSR900 he offers a lot for this money (the share price fell below ten thousand by the end of the season). Especially the road parties. Needless to say, you can ride this Yamaha in exactly the same classic clothing (jeans, black leather) as a Ducati or Triumph. The size of the classic model is larger than one would expect, but still not as large as that of the European four.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

We praise: flexible, resilient and powerful engine, gearbox, brakes, maneuverability.

We scold: the front of the motorcycle feels less secure.

The final decision

At first, due to the variety of individual bikes, we already thought that this would not be a comparative test at all and that we would not be unfair by ranking from first to last. But if you managed to go through all the description, the schedule below does not need additional justification. So we say:

1st place: BMW R nineT Pure

2. Seat: Triumph Thruxton R

3.mesto: Yamaha XSR900

4.mesto: Ducati Scrambler Café Racer

5. sad: Moto Guzzi V7 III Special

6th city: Honda CMX500A Rebel

Another thing: no, we were unable to disconnect from mobile phones. Sorry.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Fuel consumption

1. Honda - 4,36 l / 100 km

2. Ducati – 4,37 l / 100 km

3. Moto Guzzi – 4,51 l / 100 km.

4. Yamaha – 4,96 l / 100 km

5. Triumph – 5,17 l / 100 km.

6. BMW – 5,39 l / 100 km.

Prices and warranty period

1. Honda - 6.290 euros, 2 years

2. Moto Guzzi – 9.599 euros, 2 years.

3. Yamaha – 10.295 euros, 3 years

4. Ducati – 11.490 euros, 2 years.

5. BMW - 15.091 XNUMX euros.* (base model price € 12.800), 2 + 2 years

6. Triumph – 16.690 €2, 2+ years

Regular prices as of August 8, 2017. Check the current (special) prices with the sellers.

* BMW R NineT Pure equipment:

Spoked wheels… 405 EUR

Aluminum fuel tank ... € 1.025

Chromed muffler ... 92 EUR

Heated levers… 215 EUR

Alarm device… 226 EUR

ASC (anti-slip system)… 328 EUR

Video:

Footnote: since we have written more or less everything about motorcycles in the text, the video has a different content. After the ride, everyone had to tell their smartphone why they were riding a motorcycle. This is how this raw film came about. Without any script, without repeating individual frames.

Face to face

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Matyaj Tomajic

The popularity of retro motorcycles is undoubtedly peaking now, but I still think this story will not end as badly as it did in the XNUMX's with the then very popular choppers. Personally, I still insist that older motorcycles have more charm and soul than their modern clones. But still: lower fuel consumption, better brakes and other benefits achieved through advances in modern retro motorcycles prevail in one way or another.

It was this position that determined the two favorites at the very beginning of the test - Moto Guzzi and Triumph. Mostly because of the design itself, which goes back to the times we were trying to live through. The Triumph is full of great parts, the best components and is definitely fit for a lap or two on the race track. Guzzi is Italian in the truest sense of the word - laid-back and simple. And almost the same as half a century ago.

BMW, Ducati and Yamaha stood out strongly in both driving and performance thanks to their modern design. Especially BMW, which traditionally provides an excellent driving experience, good sound and comfort. The Ducati is too small for me, otherwise a moody and lively bike, but in fact, like the Ducati, it will only convince those who know little about the rest of this Italian factory's offering. I love this about Yamaha, where they have a hard time drawing their retro inspiration from their own past, they are also aware of this and take a completely different approach.

At first I looked at Honda overpriced, but although I was the most humble participant in this trip in many ways, it gradually became closer to me. This is not for me, but I know motorcyclists who will really enjoy it.

In the spirit of this test and the memory of the so-called golden days of motorsport, taking into account their own beliefs, but by no means according to the results of the scorecards, the final result: Moto Guzzi, Triumph, BMW, Ducati, Yamaha, Honda.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Petr Kavchich

The selection of six motorcycles is truly varied and includes an extremely wide range of motorcyclists who can find the right one for them. I haven't found anything wrong with the two, but the differences are of course very big, from a very cheap and very undemanding vehicle that looks surprisingly good with side bags (I mean Honda, of course) to pure retro erotica. presented by the Triumph Thruxton R, which is almost three times as expensive. Mom, with him, at any moment I would dare to take me to the parade in front of the make-up bar in the city or rub my knee on the racing asphalt. Yamaha makes me a beast and a bastard, a completely post-apocalyptic association, as if I were sitting on a motorcycle from a Mad Max movie. The Moto Guzzi always, but in fact, always lifts my spirits, despite the fact that it does not offer any frills in technical terms, and the BMW is surprisingly versatile with the best sound and the most reliable (yes, fun) to handle. ... Ducati surprised me with how undemanding to drive, despite its radical appearance, which I had not expected before. In addition to Honda and Guzzi, this is definitely a very good choice for novice drivers and women alike. However, if you are interested in my order in terms of pleasure and entertainment, then definitely: BMW, Moto Guzzi, Yamaha, Triumph, Ducati and Honda.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Uros Jakopic

Some time ago, I decided to start prioritizing dopamine (the happy hormone) adrenaline in my life. With the same intention, I undertook this time to evaluate the bikes that we had on the test. I easily chose my favorite. This is BMW. Everything works very easily. When changing the motorcycle, it was difficult for me to part with it. The machine pulls well, with enough power and torque at low revs. The sound of the engine was great on its own. The Podkray-Kalce section was the highlight of my two-day trip. The only thing I don't like is downshifting while driving vigorously, with the boxer car shaking the engine left and right. Next up (surprisingly) is the Guzzi series. The feeling reminded me of sitting comfortably at home on the couch with the addition of infinite freedom. Cool and relaxing combination. However, it is not necessary to count on surpluses of equipment, power and driving performance. Sapphire blue with orange, dopamine hugs and conscious daydreaming can begin. Then it was the turn of the “coffee” posers. Impressive looks, especially the Triumph, and a different (interesting) position and driving style are the characteristics that I would highlight. In the Ducati, I felt like I was looking over the edge of a cliff, but the ride around the corners was fun. Triumph confirmed this. Both bikes are positive in my opinion. At the “tail” of the scale are Yamaha and Honda, which did not play to my delight. So: BMW, Moto Guzzi, Ducati, Triumph, Yamaha, Honda.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Primoж манrman

The chosen flower from the range of two-wheeled classics on the Slovenian market at present is what was available to us in the test. Yes, there were fears that, perhaps, this or that model is not included in this cluster, but, on the other hand, this diversity is all the more interesting. The slightly rebellious look of the BMW convinced me in every way, from cycling to standing, although the Pure is the most humble of the R nineT family. The Ducati coffee is a Latin beauty, it may miss the horse, the driving position doesn't force it to turn stealthily, but it's true that the nuts rest reluctantly on the fuel tank under hard braking. Triumph is an aristocrat in this society, as is his equipment (Öhlins pendant). Strong enough, elegantly manageable and concrete. At first glance, the Yamaha XSR does not belong to this group, but is still part of its “Heritage” family, which suggests roots in a golden past. The harshly lively and nervous three-cylinder unit deserves special attention. The Moto Guzzi stands out with a traditional two-cylinder house, in a psychedelic blue and orange combination, it is a true representative of the classic motorcycles of the seventies. It's not perfect, but that's where its advantage lies. Honda? Eh, this little rebel is just named so typical - Honda. It is designed for daily driving of an undemanding student or female driver who does not doubt her belonging to one segment or another, the only thing that matters is that she is reliable.

Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

Tina Torelli

Shoes? No, sheet metal is my fetish and retro motorcycles are especially sexy, but I can… I compare them to shoes. And even men. As the only motorcyclist on the expedition, I simply pretend that it is my duty. So, in the retro test, we had one simple boy or sneakers - Hondo Rebel, one reliable man or hiking boots - Moto Guzzi, one cheeky climber or sexy over-the-knee boots - Ducati Cafe Racer, the one and only boss or classic sedans ( What Loubotinke) - BMW Nine T, one rather noble sheriff or cowboy boots with spikes - Yamaha XSR 900 and even the perfect playboy or strappy sandals (manolke, no doubt), for which the girl needs a gun certificate - Triumph Thruxton.

I wanted all this! The one who will look after me, but I will not fall in love, the one who will break my heart, the one who will heal me, the one who will take all my strength out of me, the one who will pull the wild side of me, and the one I will catch up for one night. On the wildly winding roads I wore sneakers, hiking boots with potholes, fast, properly wound boots of all kinds, in the fastest plane I climbed into the cabins and fastened my seat belts in the passing lane.

I know it sounds crazy, but I liked each one in my own way, and I no doubt realized that a motorcycle is a very personal thing, like shoes, boyfriends or fingerprints. But if Santa had already shown up and told me that I could keep one for myself, I would not hesitate to ride the Yamaha and disappear like camphor. And while the BMW rides better and sounds more gangster, the Yamaha looks bouncier and more unisex. I leave the Triumph to all of Steve McQueen's elusive successors who swear by the saddle for one and use the brakes sparingly (we leave a soaked cigarette in our mouth because smoking is no longer in vogue). Chunky and dreamily handsome, the Ducati Cafe Racer is definitely my second choice – I would think of it as my second bike in those days when every hair is in place and pimples don’t peep out of my chin. The Moto Guzzi is too burly for me, though no doubt fun, loud and retro chic, while a Honda Rebel that rides like a bike, which is its first feature, would be too lazy. If so, then I will rebel for a reason.

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You won't believe the end.

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Retro comparison test: BMW, Ducati, Honda, Moto Guzzi, Triumph and Yamaha

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